It's personal: how to answer uncomfortable interview questions

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The Labor Code duplicates the guarantees enshrined in the constitution: it is forbidden to conclude an employment contract “depending on gender, race, color, nationality, language, origin, property, family, social and official status, age, place of residence (including the presence or absence of registration at the place of residence or stay), religion, beliefs, affiliation or non-affiliation with public associations or any social groups, as well as other circumstances ”(Article 64 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation).

“If we interpret this norm literally, then it’s inappropriate to ask about age, nationality, religion, marital status and sexual orientation during employment, as the answer to these questions cannot be the basis for refusal,” explains lawyer Polina Pavlova.

However, the law is not talking about punishment for such issues. It is extremely difficult to hold the employer accountable for them. “The law prohibits discriminatory restrictions on job advertisements. Personal issues do not really fall into this category, although they are discriminatory. This is bad both from the point of view of the law and from the point of view of violating personal boundaries, ”said Maria Makarova, an internal communications specialist at one of the IT companies. - But not only that the Federal Law itself is written in such a way that it concerns only vacancies, but no one goes to court yet. Why, for example, does it work in the same America? If you ask an American candidate at the interview - about children, about her husband - then the next day you will receive a lawsuit. In Russia, there is a category of professional “rights switchers” who sue state organizations and even win courts, but the percentage of such people is negligible. As an employer, as a person who conducts interviews, I know that if I ask this question, the likelihood that the person to whom I will ask this question will go to court is very small. I personally do not know a single person who went to court about this. ”

Why do employers ask this?

If you are asked a personal question during the interview, there may be several reasons.

The employer has faced a similar problem in the past. Once a man got a job in a company, whose wife, dissatisfied with his position, convinced him to quit after six months. Or the employee who was looking for a year and who was entrusted with a responsible task leaves for maternity leave four months later. The employer in this case does not want to be considered a boor, but is trying to protect the interests of business.

The employer is new to ethics. Sometimes a person does not understand that he asked about something personal, or considers such questions normal, because "everyone asks." It is hoped that one day someone will explain to this recruiter or boss why asking such questions is unprofessional.

You got a stressful job interview. Many consider this method of verification unacceptable. In addition, not all HR managers can get out of a stress interview so that the candidate does not feel really offended.

“In Russia, they often ask questions about personal life. I think that these are echoes of the Soviet past, when everything was shared and no one had secrets from anyone, ”suggests Natalya Valdaeva, partner of the Marxman recruiting company. - The employer does not hesitate to ask questions about his personal life and is alarmed if the candidate leaves the answer.

Often they ask about personal life not out of idle curiosity, but in order to better understand what a person breathes, what interests, opportunities and limitations he has. This information will help to make a conclusion whether the new employee will be comfortable with the team, and the team with him. For example, studies show that "family" employees are more stable. "

What to answer?

The answer largely depends on how interesting this work is. There are two extreme options: laugh it off and translate the topic or immediately end the interview.

We offer to understand the question:

Make sure you are not in a stress interview. If the recruiter behaves strangely and the boorish question is not the only deviation from the norms of business communication, you may be tested for strength. This more often happens in positions that involve work in stressful conditions: managing a problem team, communicating with difficult clients, and law enforcement agencies. In this case, it is important for the employer to see your reaction: she will tell a lot about how you will behave if you get a job.

Ask the employer why he considers the issue important. Without aggression in your voice, gently and calmly ask why the employer needs to know what he just asked. Perhaps there really is a reason - this is due to the future responsibilities of the employee or the mood in the team. Or an unpleasant incident has already occurred in the company.

Say that this does not affect your ability to do the job well. At this point, the employer must guess that you think the question is incorrect. You can help him get out of an awkward position and translate the topic. Being polite but confident is the best strategy for an interview.

If the employer does not understand your hint, say directly: “I feel uncomfortable when you ask me about it. This is a personal question that does not concern my professional qualities. I want to work for a company that believes in law and equality. ” In Russian realities, this prepared wording may sound strange - or it seems to you that it might sound like that. Nevertheless, it is up to you to decide what the relationship with the employer should be and where the boundaries of personal space go. During the interview, these boundaries can be identified.

If the question is completely unacceptable to you, complete the interview. Not the fact that it will be a failure: what if the employer analyzes the mistakes and, considering your other advantages, considers you a highly moral person?

If all this does not bother you and life without personal questions and mixing work and personal causes a yawn, then congratulations: you are perfectly adapted to reality. In any case, be polite and keep yourself in control. And decide in advance whether you are on the way with the employer who asks such questions.